shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
