maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh god it's open bar.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
