is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
