That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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