They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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