I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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