You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
