omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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