very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize