Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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