I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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