You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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