i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So much rum. So many feels.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
