well most of my day revolves around power hour
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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