She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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