I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize