woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
