White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize