google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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