dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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