I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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