I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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