am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I need water and some morals
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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