i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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