At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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