dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
