Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I just want to hang out with her.

(916): View more from California

You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.

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(641): View more from Iowa

literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs

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(913): View more from Kansas

He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?

(516): View more from New York

you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."

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(305): View more from Florida

woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...

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(+61): View more from Australia

A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify

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