i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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