dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
