ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize