i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
