Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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