I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
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