ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
