You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
