I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
