I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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