Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
