I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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