Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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