I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
