Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
