Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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