i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize