she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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