I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
