I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
