This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
