I must be too annoying 4 u.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
