that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
