I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I believe in your delicious
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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