She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I party with great urgency now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
