You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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