mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
