Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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