I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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