he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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