So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
